its very very funny how things change with in how many months? 5? yepp well lets see idont care anymore its funny how iget high to forget things nd it really does work b/c ijus read my last entry nd idont remember half the stuff in there HAHA!!! ilove it lol =) well yea im pretty bored right now nd my dome kinda hurts...well marla is the bestest thing you will ever meet!! Lol shes my gurly fosho ilove her mucho!! well ilove angie mucho too but they are like fghting its so weird nd ihate it ijus want it all to go back to how it was.. ya kno? its so weird now its like idont hang out with angie then she yells at me for ditching her but ihave so much fun with marla nd everyone nd now shes going out with this kid matt poss nd angie liked him nd so now angie is all like blahh.. ya kno? kinda like how iwas with my matt but yea anyy way lol kk ihave to go im going to meet this new girl angelica shes pretty pimp ill be back later byezzz

<333 bumke

haha its funny b/c noone goes on xanga anymore but w/e idont care everyone has a myspace and its all good in the hood w/e im not really friends wit anyone anymore b/c ijus really dont care bruno dont care about me anymore b/c ichose to get high one time then now im not friends wit katie and derb never calls jenny moved icant hang oput wit maria and agata and liz b/c they live in lyons and stickney  and im not friends wit rose  idont talk to matt anymore and im really over him to tell you the truth idont miss him anymore ijus dont care im sure ill have soem days were imiss him like nutz but right now im ok and im happy ijus need to find a new guy to like lol ineed a b/f or ineed to hook upo wit someone lolim such a loser but id/c idunno if im depressed or ijus dont care anymore or im still alil high lol but ifeel fine and ihavnt stressed myself for finals so im groovin lol yep yep well idunno ikinda feel bad b/c of kari ihavnt hung out wit her in like EVER!! and ifeel horibble but its like iwant allot of friends and she dont get along wit jessicaand them idunno but ya...so im jus real bored right now so im like ill rwrite in my xanga b/c myspace isnt working!HAHA lol dont you jus feel special that ichose you second after myspace well ya ijus dont care about anything anymore katie fucked up my life and now ineed to start over and ill be better off wit out everyone they hurt me too many times and its not like they care about me so wtfe! idont care! im tired of feeling hurt b/c of teir stupid shit and you kno deb talks shit about katie STILL even tho they are friends again so w/e! that is complete b.s. and idont talk to katie anymore so id/c and you kno im sure deb talks about me and you kno katty hates me b/c istarted being good friends wit deb she is a fucking retard for that shit i NEVER replaced her! and ifucking swear to god she dont even kno itrusted her alot and she was like my gurly and she goes and starts that shit imean wtf!??! im jus tired of everyone idont care they dont care so im gunna move on you kno GWMS wasnt even that good everyone there was mean to me the only ppl that imissed was jenn and katie and agata and all them other then that they were a bunch of fucking bitches and ugggg W/E!!! iam who iam b/c of everyone so if they dont like it then id/c b/c this is how they wanted me to be b/c iam how iam and they can suck it! ilove my friends now they are effing awsome and itrust them but itll talke awhile for us to get close like iwas wit my old friends but ireally dont care amber jessica angie heather and kari and all them are effin awsome to me better then my old friends they could care two shits and im happy that they are starting to forget about me b/c iwas never worth it anyway they can all suck a big one iwas the one that wanted to be friends wit them for a long time and they go and ruin it wit stupid figts and backstabbing so you kno what im taking it back all those promises b/c its not like nayone ever did the same for me like matt he promises he would talk to me for ever and blha blah and even if he had a g/f that he would talk to me and yadayada but did he NO then katie she promised she would be a good friend and that she would keep secrets but did she NOPE so fuck you all idont give a shit anymore im sure noone is gunna read this but if they do then they will kno why im gunna stop talking to everyonewell ttyl lyl!!

wit all my <3

bumke =)

Currently Listening The Emancipation of Mimi By Mariah Carey we belong together ((haha kinda ironic right)) see related

hey hey my xanga xanga friend hows it be going?! lol im so like ahhh lol ladedada lol well yesterday ihung out wit bruno and deb and ahhh it was funn!!! ok so we desided to go to Mr. Subs and so iwas looking down at my wonderful converse while iwas walking out and brunos like its snowing and it didnt registerin my mind till ilooked up and im like o..m...f...g!!!!! and istarted jumping up and down!!omg!! and then iwas like DEB!! come out here!! and then we all ran in the snow omg ilove the snow! and then me and deb did snow angels in the middle of the street!! haha lol and ialmost got ran over lmao then we went to the park after Mr. Subs and it was hilarious lmao me and deb went down the slides and iwas so hyper and iwent down the slide and ifell on my ass lmao it was funny but then bruno like got too cold or w/e and went inside ididnt care how cold iwas iwas having fun!!lol and then we jus ran around making more snow angels and writing our names in the snow soo much fun! lol ialways have fun wit deb....brunos a diff story...he changed idont like it hes so like idunno...EMO and he never has fun he always wishes things were back to how he use to be and everything by his old school w/e he needs to suck it up and get use to it iuse to care now ijus dont the less isee him the happy iam ino it sounds mean but he jus brings you down when your havningt a good time he always ruins it he always gets mad w/e he dont kno that everyone says the same stuff about him everyone agrees  and he pushes ppl away and he dont like hanging out wit his guy friends;like kurt and mike and all them he wants to hang out wit josh phh josh always hurts him when hes here so wtf?1 does bruno want to get hurt iseriously think he likes being sad he has always been like that and inever nooticed and then he goes and stops talking to katie and shes upset about it and he dont care he really doesnt acare about anything and he only wants to me friends wit me b/c he dont want to ruin the friendship but then he goes and likes katie and shes liek one of his best friends and itold him about that back when iliked him and iforgot what he siad but after that day iwas fine and ijus accepted that itll never happen but ya w/e idunno ifeel bad that idont care anymore but imean seriously he needs to suck it up hes being a lil bitch and the other day iasked him whats wrong and hes like would you jus leave me alone for one day so w/e obviously he d/c about me so w/e lalalal its all a wast eof time ican never have fun wit him anymore idunno its so weird imiss matt and im a retard for it and last night me and katie had a long convo. and itold her some stuff thats been botherintg me lately and it felt good to tell her b/c ido weird shit like that like ill be mad at her but ill still be friends wit her but give her attitude im happy itold her tho idunno its been hangingover my head for months and ya idunno ireally miss him but ifinally relized that he only say me as afriend and thats how its always gunna be my head hurt all yesterday b/ thats all ithought about was him and ifelt so ugly idunno its like ifeel so less then katie b/c all the guys like her ifeel like a nothing im jus another one of the guys uggg its pathetic im jus really pathetic idunno w.e waste of my time thinking of him but then again its the only thing that keeps me wit him and thats what iwant he dont return my messages on myspace b/c he doesnt care finally someone told me that he didnt care  and it meant alot to me b/c it all made sense its like ididnt exactly belive myself when iwould say it but when katie said it ibelived it and i felt different idunno its all so ya...idunno...ijus want to tell him what he did to me b/c maybe itll make it better iwanna talk to him sometimes but then im scared idunno what to say idunno how im gunna make it imean ive made it this long wit out talking to him but how is it that istill love him even tho idont talk to him or see him at all imiss his smile nd the way he laughs istill remember iit all it jus made me smile...and the way he hugged me after we graduated and icried on the way home  and when igot hom eicried till he called...and he knew iwas crying but it hurt ugg im about to cry right now...and then during the 8th grade dance when we danced we danced to to songs in a row ....we belong together and another song idunno iforgot and when we belong together came on hes liek its your favorite song and im like ya ino...ifelt like crying hell never kno will he? how much of an impact he had on my life how much he ruined me and how much icared for him hell never know all those days when iwas talking about wanting a b/f and someone to love me ..iwas talking baout him he never kne..after itold him about  how ididnt wanna talk anymore he said to me " bumke your gunna be happy one day your gunna go home to someone you love and to your kids and you wont care about me anymore " he said something like that but i really wont forget him ever ithink about him everyday alot of time in the day too not jus once in awhile all the fucking time..all the time..idunno it makes me miss how things use to me idunno but iremember all the things that he said all the things that he told me iremebered it all hed be talkikng about katie and id be sitting there crying tear after tear falling down and he never knew id get of the fone and lay on the floor crying it was so hard for me ijus couldnt take it anymore and that day istopped talking to him icried all night not that it was something new but ilayed there and everything came rushing back and it hurt so much me and him going uout dont bother me now its this past summert how everything happend that is what bothered me....well ihave to go illttyl lyl

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ya hi xanga...what up ho? idunno whats happeneing over here by me idunno ijus dunno ifeel so stupid and dumb but yes sirr w/e ishould be done but no matter how hard itry its always the same well ya...ttyl lyl

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hey hey what up hos?? nmohjc my xanga hasnt worked in awhile idunno why but ya well ya...idunno ithink imgetting sick idunno but ithink its all in mu head b/c like ive been thinking about matt and its making me sick well like he told me he liked me on thanksgiving...and omg iwas so happy and like idunno istill remember everything and he dont remember anything we dont talk and its like all i wish for and all ithink about is if maybe hell call me  and ifeel so pathetic and all that b/c ino he dont but icant help thta ilove him or idid...idunno anymore ialways will but imean like love love like were you like him and not anyone else idunno its like icant like anyone b/c noone is like him and noone makes me feel the same as he did and ijus feel like maybe ishouldnt have stopped talking to him and we would have still been friends imean idunno...fucking im so stupid all iwant is to talk to him and iseriously couldnt sleep last night b/c iwas thinking about him and iwoke up and ifelt like throwing up and all idid was think of him and my stomacjh was twisting and flipping and ireally felt like iwas gunna throw up...idunno idunno idunno icant forget him b/c imean ispent how long?10 months liking him its so sad and iloved him and icared about him imean ireally cared about him as a friend too imean its like a double wammy idunno w/e then like katie goes and gets banded from north riverside mall real smart one itold her to be careful and not to do it but she needed clothes and w/e ya ok w/e igiveup on her she never listens anyway so w/e im jus gunna save my breath now let her make her own mistakes b/c she does anyway even if im there or not she dont listen or anything  but ok ill stay there b/c im her best friend  but w/e she dont care and she dontlearn and then im tired of bruno hes getting real annoying bitching all the time and never telling me y so w/e icare too much about him id/c anymore theycan all suck it it dont matter to me anymore they are all a waste of time icare and itry to tell them but they dont listen ilisten to them why dont they give me respect so yes sirrr my tummy hurts real bad uggg ireally think im getting sick idunno so0o ya lalalallalal today was the last day of school yay!!! im so happy! lol 5 day weekend!!WOOOOOOHOOOOO!!! wo0t wo0t!!! lol yes sirrr that is whats pimpin well ya...idunno im so tired ladedada so0o0o how are my ppl out there doing iwonder how many ppl read my xanga and dont comment me  so sad so sad :( you kno ijus wont write in it if you guys dont comment me!! so0o0o0o what up you whores?! im so0o bored idunno lol lalalala me and my dad got in afight the other day and hes like ill have more patience or w/e but nothing will make him drug free and nothing will take back all the things he says and all the days he over reacted to everything nothing will ever be the same he made it that way its not my fault im tired of forgiving him that is all idid for what? 12 years its done now im tired of it igave him enough chances to change and make things for the best and idunno ive jus been hurt too much ugg w/e idunno it sosooo stupid and old im tired of it well im gunna go iill ttyl lyl!!

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